Tomorrow

I saw this post written by a father to a son and sat and bawled while reading it.

My husband wrote this morning to our son who is a senior in high school. He is going to college in the fall to play ball. This made me cry all day.............

A letter to my son,

Tomorrow……...tomorrow is a day that I have been dreading for the past 14 years. When you started playing baseball, tomorrow seemed like a lifetime away, but now it is here. I will be honest with you, I’m not ready for it, but I know you are. All I can think about is that little boy with the hat that was too big, the bat that was too long and the glove that totally engulfed your little hand. I remember the joy on your face every time you took the field. You wanted to play, rain or shine and if you made a mistake you can bet you had me out in the back yard or on a field somewhere working on correcting that mistake. We watched as a childhood fascination turned into a lifelong love. You were always so disappointed when a season was over, you just wanted to play. You went from t-ball, to coach pitch, to machine pitch, to kid pitch and you were never satisfied. Finally we made the decision to have you tryout for a competitive team. You played for the Thunder, Lightning, Rippers, Sharks, Cage Rats, and the Arena, and for you, travel ball was the best thing we could have done. It was expensive, there were long cars rides, lots hotel rooms and living out of a cooler became our normal but we wouldn’t have had it any other way. You pushed yourself, you set goals and failed, set them again and succeeded and then set them higher. Coaches, gave up on you. They told you your weren't good enough, but you proved them all wrong. People said we were silly for spending all that money on “baseball”, but we never regretted it even for a second. Then high school baseball began and we realized what you had been working towards. We realized where all that time and money went. We had been investing in your future and now we could finally start seeing it pay off. You busted your tail, worked hard to improve yourself and your teammates. Your hard work was rewarded with multiple scholarship offers and college coaches that believe in you and think you have the ability to help their team.

Tomorrow……...tomorrow you will put on that Sand Creek Scorpion uniform for the last time.

Tomorrow……...tomorrow you will step out on that field for the last time as a scorpion.

Tomorrow……...tomorrow your mom and I will cry, so be prepared. We will shed tears for many reasons but please know we will cry mainly because we are so very proud of you. A father could never be more proud of a son than I am of you.

Tomorrow……..enjoy yourself, enjoy your time on that field, enjoy your teammates, but most of all remember that little kid and play with the passion and love that little boy had.

Tomorrow……….Wyatt, tomorrow came way too fast.

It is a reminder to me that this season in our lives will not last forever. That someday will be my tomorrow. 

In the Spring of 2016 Royce started playing T-ball in the Raymore Rec league we were blessed from day one for Andy Hilton was chosen to be his coach. Andy is well versed in baseball and was a player himself. He was taking the time to coach these young boys and girls out of the goodness of his heart.  Andy's son was on the team and was a year older than Royce. As the first season went on Andy encouraged and pushed Royce. He made it clear he saw talent in him and that gave Royce the confidence that he needed to excel. Andy more than likely has no idea how influential he was on Royce but at one point he said that he needed to be playing league ball and that we needed to go ahead and move him up teams and play with the boys in the fall that were planning to play machine pitch. So we took his advice and moved with Andy's boy onto a machine pitch league team.

That first year of competitive baseball was a year (2016) of great success for Royce. He played for Hamby and the Raymore Rebels in the South Metro League. This would be an 8U A team. As a 7-year-old playing up, there were challenges. The coaches Brent Hamby and Ryan Bult needed a metal that year for dealing with Royce's immaturely and occasional breakdowns. He cried several times when his play wasn't up to his expectations but these coaches loved him through it. They encouraged him both as a player but also encouraged him in his love for the game. I know without a doubt those coaches loved him like a son!

The year was topped off by a personal bid for Royce in the USSSA Missouri Kansas All-State Showcase game. This was a huge highlight for Royce and Kaleb to be chosen to attend this game. There are 40,000 boys who play competitive baseball in Missouri and Kansas. The Showcase game is for the top 800 players. Royce had an absolute blast at this game. The boys both were able to experience playing with the best players from this area and were able to match their talents with them.

2017 brought with it a new team name, but the same family of players and parents. The Daredevils was to be the name on the jersey. Hamby and Bult where the leaders and a 9UAA in the South Metro league was the plan for the season. The boys greatly enjoyed their year together and many sharpened their skills as the year went on. The team had some struggles this year and possibly some growing pains. Royce continued to develop as a player and expand his love for the game. We encouraged him to try other sports but his heart lies in baseball. I think this was the season for a personal struggle for me. My struggle to keep him off the pitcher's mound and his struggle to want to pitch so badly. As you can see he won and so it all began.

Fall of 2017 was a rough patch in the baseball road for us. We found ourselves without a team that fit us. We tried out for a few teams and just didn't find a fit for him as an athlete and us as a family. After not making a UAAA team, we decided upon the BC Hass team. (Building Champions). This team was in the Blue Valley League and we played the equivalent of 9U AA. The coaches, parents, and athletes on the team never felt like a fit. Royce was very discouraged and the team didn't do well at all. Royce was asked to pitch in almost every clutch situation and he excelled. He refused to allow the lack of talent on the team be a deterrent for him. But as the season lagged on so did his desire to play with them. By Dec he had decided to take a season off. He just wasn't sure if this was a good fit at all.

Mike and I encouraged him to try out for a new team in 2018, so in January of 2018 Royce went to a tryout at Mac and Seitz for their 9u Major team. The coach offered him a spot on the team the first tryout and we were all so excited. This new team brings about challenges of its own. They have played for several years together and Royce has to work his way from the bottom of every list. He is the last in the batting order and he is playing left field most of the time. After playing on all the other teams and always being infield this is a tough pill to swallow. They started their first tournament against 10AA kids and the boys did excellently. They ended up second in the tournament. Royce did his part by hitting 3 doubles in the pool play games and being a threat every time he got up to bat. He had done some closer pitching and continues to work his way up the order.

I don't know what this season or this team hold for him, what I do know is his sisters, his dad and I are enjoying watching #6 every step of the way. I hope someday he understand how much of a joy this time is in our lives and how much we love him.  So I am relishing every moment cause I know.. .

tomorrow will eventually come.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Little Decision THEN, BIG impact NOW

When our kids where young Mike and I made the conscious decision to take our kids to funerals. We talked about it and we had family members that didn't make the same decision with their kids so at times we where the sole ones in the family packing toddlers to funerals of elderly family members the kids really didn't know. At that point in our lives, Mike and I did it because we felt they needed to know how to act in public and when there are times to sit quietly and times to get on the floor and play. 

This seemed like a small decision then. My thought was that my kids would know the difference between the wake and the burial. They would know how to go through the percussion line and how to properly greet the family and give them their condolences. Simple things to those of us who have attended many funerals. but as with almost everything in life, our children learn from our example. They also learn from repetition, my family members that I meantioned before didn't want to expose their young children to the sadness. Although I respect that everyone has the right to raise their children in a manner they see fit. I felt and now I am resolved that this is a poor decision on their part. 

In the past year, my 14-year-old has had a classmate commit suicide, best friend lose her mom to cancer and just yesterday a dear close friend lose his brother in a horrific accident. Anyone of these would be an overwhelmingly sad situation for any early teenager. The type of situation that almost all teenagers are not equipped to comprehend and handle. It would have been easier for her to not attend these funerals and just text her condolences and most of the other teenagers these days do. 

In these times of sadness, I could not express the pride I have for my daughter. The kind of composure and empathy that I have not seen in many adults over my years. I don't want to take the credit for the person she is becoming because this is ALL HER. She was the one to stand in line for hours at the wake of a classmate, she excused herself from classes and sat in the coping room, sitting and consoling her classmate's friends and helping them share memories of him to help them through those extremely tough days. Not at one point making the sadness about her. Yes she was sad and yes she felt a deep loss, but she knew at this point it was time to put her classmates family and friends in the forefront.

In just a few months Sierra's close childhood friend lost her mother to a short battle with cancer. Armies couldn't have kept her from that wake and funeral. She stood with her friend, hugged her and held her up at times as she grieved the loss of her mother. Fourteen years old is VERY young to be a "person" for someone grieving the loss of a mother. I watched her from behind the scenes how she made a conscious effort to evaluate the emotions of her friend, when she needed to back away and when she needed to be right by her side for that little bit of support. Evaluation skills well beyond her years.

Yesterday I got a frantic call that an accident had happened and she had to go to the hospital. She had to be by the side of her friend and his family. She never hesitated, she never thought of herself. Her thought was only for her friend and his family. I sat at the hospital last night I saw maturity beyond her years. There was not one moment that this situation was about her. There was not a selfish now 15 year old in that room. There as a mature confident, loving young women there to support her friend and his family.

In this last year I have seen her console a brother, friend, daughter, mother and father at the loss of their loved one. I have seen her hug with the kind of hug that reaches a grieving person's heart.  Her friends tell her she gives the best hugs and I couldn't agree more! She does give the best hugs. She gives the best hugs cause she truly is hugging with every bit of her heart and soul. You can see she is trying to soak up just a little bit of their pain.  

So maybe it has nothing to do with the fact we took her to funerals when she was young. Like I said I am not trying to take any credit for her actions. I am in NO way trying to make any of this loss about myself or my family. I am just trying to express how extrememly proud of her I am and how I feel she has a gift. 

Seasons Of Life

I have been reading a lot about the Seasons of life. That in our lives there are times of happiness and times of saddness.


I am going to end this post with a poem that I find intriguing. It is called "The Seasons of Life" by Joseph Anderson.

How like the seasons is our life, 

 We face the sunshine, storms and strife; 

 As seasons come, so they must go, 

 We are enjoined within that flow. 

In spring we start our journey new, 

 When flowers bloom and skies are blue; 

 The trees are budding, birds will sing, 

 With youth in bloom, 

it's always spring. 

 'Tis summer soon, we are mature, 

 Face love and kids, home and career; 

 It's harvest time, success we seek, 

 These sounds of summer leave us weak. 

 Then autumn calls to have it's say, 

 The foliage falls, the hair turns gray; 

 The chill descends and soon the frost, 

 We think, perhaps on things we lost. 

Old winter grips with snow and cold, 

 We watch our destined fate unfold; 

 As now we near our time to go 

And seek life's final afterglow."

READY.. SET... GO!!

For the past almost 12 years I have been dreaming of hauling my kids to Jr. Rodeos and watching them compete in the sport I love. Well here we go!! Sierra is almost 12 and she in in her first year of Jr. High School Rodeos. Alaina and Royce are rip roaring to start entering youth rodeos. Motherhood doesn't come easy to me.. never has. I am not one of those "I love every part of being a mom" sort of people. I pull NO punches. Being a mom is HARD WORK. Now I am starting to realize that being a Rodeo Mom is no picnic either. Guess I should have been careful what I wished for.

Courtesy of Zintro

My husband and I are super competitive people we really want our kids to excel at WHATEVER they are doing. It has been for some time and continues to be a personal struggle for me to decide how much to push my kids. How much is too much? If it takes 10,000 hours to master something wow that is a lot of time.

I have had a personal revolution this week. For the past 5 plus years I have been so busy in school bettering myself through education that I have not been a good example of what deliberate practice is and what it takes to be a highly competitive rodeo competitor. Yes, my kids have seen me struggle with acquiring my education and seen my success and  failures along the way. But they have NOT seen me put lots of wet saddle pads on horses and have not seen me ride in the pouring rain or 3 layers of coveralls in the snow. They have not seen me fail in the arena and dust off my jeans and get back on. In a way I feel I have failed them as a rodeo coach/mom. And as of today I am about to change all that. I am at the best position in my life with two of the nicest horses I have ever had and am ready to teach my kids, by example, how a winner acts and practices and handles them self. Some would call that selfish of me. So don't get me wrong, I am gonna haul them to Jr rodeo and I am gonna do all it takes to make them winners along the way. But I feel in my heart that the best way to "teach" them to win is by example. If I am out there ridding and working horses and doing all the things necessary it takes for myself to be successful; I feel with much conviction that they will see me do this and without making a conscious choice they will follow my example. I know growing up without a rodeo family that it is much harder to have motivation to go ride or work a horse or practice roping the dummy by myself. But I can tell you my kids are usually right where I am .. for example this morning I am putting my make-up for work and all three are standing in the bathroom door staring at me.. WHY ??? I have no idea, but if this example works in the arena as well if I am horseback that is exactly where they will want to be as well. So last night I dropped my horses off to be re shod and decided that it was time for some serious wet saddle pads on horses at my house... both mine and my kid's. I hope to continue to blog and let you all know how this goes :o) So Ready... Set.. GO!!!!!

Saw this on Ebay:
 http://www.ebay.com/itm/Keep-Calm-Im-A-Rodeo-Mom-T-Shirt-Funny-Humor-Bull-Riding-Ladies-Tee-/331065479376

Life Coach Maybe?

Sit and read any parenting magazine and you will see articles about parents pushing their kids too hard for success.  My daughter attends 2 nights a week for 3 hours per night gymnastics, that is what is expected of her at her ability level. The coaches would like more and they know that their time is valuable and every moment they can spend with the kids will improve on their scores and abilities. Now she loves gymnastics but her true love is horses and I can't say that I am not happy about that cause I AM. I have wanted my kids to love horses as much as me since the moment they were born. I wanted them to want to ride and want to rodeo and want to be involved in the sport that I love so so much. Now I got what I want both my girls LOVE to ride and I am so thrilled for that.  Now I find myself questioning how hard to I push them.. what is enough... what is too much.

•  If they were ice skaters we would be getting them up at 4 am for morning practices before school.
• We know people who's children leave school at 1 pm to attend Gymnastics for afternoon practice.
• If paid coaches were telling my that my kids had potential for greatness, I think I would be so flattered that I would be more willing to push them.

But rodeo is different, I am not sending my kids to a trainer and paying hundreds of dollars a month for a professional to "tell" me my kids are bound for greatness.   I am the one who has to decide how hard to push them, how long and how many times a week they need to ride, where to enter them where to haul them, what level of competition they are ready for.. All these decisions are left up to my husband and I.  Now some would and will say.. "keep it fun, Alicia" ... but is that really what I should do. Allow them to just do it when it is fun to them and when they so please?  To me it isn't about them winning buckles and awards, those will come. It is the learning to put in the hard work and sweat it takes to be a winner in this sport. I want them to learn the love of the animal and the love of the competition.

Maybe when it gets right down to it I worry about how it is going to look to everyone else.. How my parenting appears to be to others. AM I A GOOD MOM? AM I DOING THE RIGHT THINGS WITH MY KIDS? I really want my kids to do well and I want to give them EVERY opportunity in the world.  I want to push them without driving them to hate it. So maybe maybe a Life Coach is what I need for me instead of Rodeo Coach for my kids????

Confidence Is The Key

I saw this photo today and it made me think about how glad I am both my girls have so much confidence. I reached over to Alaina as she lay in the oral surgeons chair to hold her hand she she said "I got this mom".  She wasn't pushing me away she was telling me that I had done such a wonderful job preparing her for situations that she had this under control and she had no worries. That to me is a job well done.

Sierra can walk into any room and speak with anyone of any age and handle herself better than I have seem most adults. That is confidence, shinning in the most outstanding way.  One would never describe my girls as meek or quiet. Neither of them are afraid to be the center of attention, while at the same time neither are afraid to allow others to be in the spotlight. 

When Sierra met Trisha Smeenk at the Miss Rodeo Pawnee Pageant, Trisha was there as a special guest. Miss Rodeo USA the highest of titles in the Rodeo Queen world. She was what every young girl in that room wanted to be. Sierra had memorized every last detail about Trisha's life that she could find on the internet.. she was a superstar to those girls.  That day, Trisha graciously share that spotlight with several other young ladies at that pageant. That to me was a sure sign of a women with confidence. She wasn't afraid that a little 9 year old would show her up.. she was thrilled with Sierra's talents and abilities and even had her do her speech an extra time so one of the other older queens could video record it.  That is the type of confidence I hope my girls continue to develop. 

I see Sierra kneel down to young girls that are rodeo spectators to hand them a sucker. Seems as if it is a small gesture. But I know why she is doing it..... I know that she feels if she kneels down to that young child's level she no longer is someone out of their reach she becomes one of their peers. It is a metaphoric gesture on her part.. one she may not even realize she is doing at the time. She is telling those little girls that yes I have a fancy buckle and a shinny crown and also yes you can have such things if you want them one day, cause I was just like you. 

I am thrilled with my girls and the young ladies they are becoming. I wouldn't change either of them for the world and I don't think the world has a chance of changing them either. They are confident in who they are and where they are going. They may be young but they show the grace and maturity that I see lacks in so many girls of twice their age.  I am so proud of both of them.

Go with your gut!

OK my young friends with kids.. Let me tell you about my day and I insist you have to be the advocate and voice for your child... yesterday Alaian (6) comes home from school she says she has a headache and I notice she looks kind of red cheeked.. I take her temp.. 101.7 far from killing her :o) -I am a tough mom! But I am very upset with the school nurse that Alaina went to her and she told her she had a headache and the nurse didn't take her temp... that said Alaina said the nurse tried to call me but I didn't answer.... I have 4 other names on my call list and my babysitter lives next door to the school... but that issue I will have to take up with the nurse tomorrow...

So this morning I still have a little one that is running a fever and complaining her head hurts so I sit with her and ask her where her head hurts at... points directly to her upper jaw.. I said Alaina it is your head or your tooth? She said my whole head but mostly from right here at my tooth.. OK now I call the dentist... super nice gal at the dentist tells me to give her some motrin and orajel.... so I did that this morning.. by noon she was lying quivering in pain... saying her head was killing her... so I called the dentist again.. said this isnt working...so they had us come in for it to be looked at. well after a quick exam and 2 xrays the denist quickly made the decision to transfer her to an Oral and maxillofacial surgery.. so off we go. Thanks to Teresa Plumb who met me to get Royce and Debbie Ricketts Wescoat who sent Sierra to walk home to Teresa's house after school I didn't have to worry about the other kids.

The Oral and maxillofacial surgeon said the tooth needed immediate exaction. Sarah Gaston works at the office and she was WONDERFUL helping me get all the paperwork filled out and taken care of with the insurance. Had to call my mom to pay the co-pay cause my purse was in Mike's truck.. I wasn't prepared at all LOL (thanks mom) So they quickly took Alaina back to surgery and with a little happy gas they extracted a very infected tooth with a dry nerve socket.. Now if any of you have ever had a tooth ache or a dry socket you know how bad this little baby was in pain....She is much better now and resting comfortable. BUT lesson of this story is ... YOU are the voice for your child.. if you feel something is wrong don't be afraid to speak up and fight for their care. I knew Alaina wasn't a complainer and there was something making her feel this bad and if I hadn't been so persistent who knows how long this would have gone on.

Sometimes doctors and nurses feel like we are over reacting and maybe sometimes we are.. but i would much rather be made to feel like i was over reacting than to not overreact and have my baby suffer. I have a nursing background and I work in a hospital and I am telling you GO WITH YOUR GUT!! and be the voice for your children when they need it.