This seemed like a small decision then. My thought was that my kids would know the difference between the wake and the burial. They would know how to go through the percussion line and how to properly greet the family and give them their condolences. Simple things to those of us who have attended many funerals. but as with almost everything in life, our children learn from our example. They also learn from repetition, my family members that I meantioned before didn't want to expose their young children to the sadness. Although I respect that everyone has the right to raise their children in a manner they see fit. I felt and now I am resolved that this is a poor decision on their part.
In the past year, my 14-year-old has had a classmate commit suicide, best friend lose her mom to cancer and just yesterday a dear close friend lose his brother in a horrific accident. Anyone of these would be an overwhelmingly sad situation for any early teenager. The type of situation that almost all teenagers are not equipped to comprehend and handle. It would have been easier for her to not attend these funerals and just text her condolences and most of the other teenagers these days do.
In these times of sadness, I could not express the pride I have for my daughter. The kind of composure and empathy that I have not seen in many adults over my years. I don't want to take the credit for the person she is becoming because this is ALL HER. She was the one to stand in line for hours at the wake of a classmate, she excused herself from classes and sat in the coping room, sitting and consoling her classmate's friends and helping them share memories of him to help them through those extremely tough days. Not at one point making the sadness about her. Yes she was sad and yes she felt a deep loss, but she knew at this point it was time to put her classmates family and friends in the forefront.
In just a few months Sierra's close childhood friend lost her mother to a short battle with cancer. Armies couldn't have kept her from that wake and funeral. She stood with her friend, hugged her and held her up at times as she grieved the loss of her mother. Fourteen years old is VERY young to be a "person" for someone grieving the loss of a mother. I watched her from behind the scenes how she made a conscious effort to evaluate the emotions of her friend, when she needed to back away and when she needed to be right by her side for that little bit of support. Evaluation skills well beyond her years.
Yesterday I got a frantic call that an accident had happened and she had to go to the hospital. She had to be by the side of her friend and his family. She never hesitated, she never thought of herself. Her thought was only for her friend and his family. I sat at the hospital last night I saw maturity beyond her years. There was not one moment that this situation was about her. There was not a selfish now 15 year old in that room. There as a mature confident, loving young women there to support her friend and his family.
In this last year I have seen her console a brother, friend, daughter, mother and father at the loss of their loved one. I have seen her hug with the kind of hug that reaches a grieving person's heart. Her friends tell her she gives the best hugs and I couldn't agree more! She does give the best hugs. She gives the best hugs cause she truly is hugging with every bit of her heart and soul. You can see she is trying to soak up just a little bit of their pain. So maybe it has nothing to do with the fact we took her to funerals when she was young. Like I said I am not trying to take any credit for her actions. I am in NO way trying to make any of this loss about myself or my family. I am just trying to express how extrememly proud of her I am and how I feel she has a gift.
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